He’s The Devil
Saturday 28 March 2015 • 9:36 PM
In light of the reprehensible SB101: The Religious Freedom Restoration Act that Indiana Governor Mike Pence signed into law on Thursday, I’m calling on the Church of Pastafarianism, more commonly known as The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, to adopt one Mike Pence as its anthropomorphized version of the Anti-Pirate ((Pastafarianism teaches that Pirates were the original divine and peaceful explorers, an image later tarnished by a disinformation campaign of lies and propaganda initiated by Christianity.)) (Devil, to the layman).
Furthermore, I encourage all Hoosier businesses, particularly those in the Indianapolis metro area, to join The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Should Governor Pence find himself unable to be seated at a restaurant or denied admission to a movie theater, he must ask himself: how can it be considered discrimination when a business refuses to serve Lucifer himself? From the Pastafarianist’s perspective, why should the state force a peace-loving, law-abiding citizen to cater to what the business owner considers to be the embodiment of pure and total evil?